I love PostSecret. Have been a fan for a while and try to remember once a week to log on and check out what people have sent in. They raise lots of money and awareness about mental health issues and all round give people a space to just be themselves. Which is why I was really taken aback to see the above on the site this week. (Picture is a screen grab).
I’m not talking about the secret – that of itself is no different to many other that have been on the blog. It’s the message they posted under it from another person, who like me, reads Postsecret avidly.
And all I can think is – what if the woman who wrote the secret logs on and reads that message. As if she’s not in a difficult enough position, she now has some woman begging her keep going with the pregnancy so she can adopt the child.
The writer of this secret made a choice. And that choice is valid. Postsecret, I think, have gone completely against their own ethos by posting a message which aims to invalidate that persons choice – indeed questions that persons secret.
And I feel really uncomfortable about it. But then again I’m not immune to my own biases. I’m adopted and pro choice and generally feel very uncomfortable when people equate adoption and abortion as exclusive choices – as if women who choose abortion could just have easily chosen adoption but were ‘too selfish’ (is usually the undertone) to do so. We need to respect that women who choose to have an abortion do so because they do not want to parent and they do not want to go through the adoption process. The idea that someone is be convinced otherwise is just deepingly demeaning and patronising.
This is where I’m going to stop because I feel like I can’t really articulate what it is I’m trying to say – but I do know this – Posting that woman’s message underneath this secret – is not ok with me.